Narrative:

First the facts: seeing earlier this week that this pairing had a two-leg all-nighter built into it; I went to bed at 10pm and woke at 7am this morning. I purposely refrained from caffeine this morning as I knew I would require a nap. I had breakfast; took the children to school went to yoga returned home had a light snack and went to bed at 1pm to 3pm for a nap to prepare for my duty period. Probably; because my nap needed to be so early in the afternoon; I had trouble falling asleep. I estimate I napped for 1 hour. My wife woke me at 3pm. I felt groggy. I showered; had another light meal and left my house for the 1hr drive [to the airport]. During my drive I consumed at large coffee. The deadhead flight was uneventful and I closed my eyes during the 50 min flight. I did not sleep; just rested. Upon landing; I went into operations to start my preflight planning when I saw our flight was delayed 3:00 hours. At this time; I recognized that we would be landing [later in the morning] in ZZZ. I thought very long and with great anxiety about the flight. I tried to find a way to get more rest and I tried to rationalize a way to fly the flight safely. I had guilt about both operating the flight and not operating the flight. If I flew the flight; I knew from my vast experience of [decades] of all-night flights; that for me; I would not be capable of command decisions [the next morning in ZZZ]. I barely make it through regular all-nighters where I nap from 4-7pm before the flight and we land [earlier in the morning]. I felt guilt for not flying the flight and the potential impact it could have on everyone! In flight; when I contemplate which course of action to take 3 times trying to rationalize; I then force the most conservative action that is safest. That is what I did here as well. After much back and forth agonizing over this flight; I knew it would be unsafe to operate this flight. I knew I had to call in fatigued. Now the soapbox: I feel so sad and so angry! I am sad that I could not operate this flight. For many reasons! I feel so angry at [company] leadership; FAA leadership and [union] leadership that this event was ever forced to come to this conclusion! Are we looking for another colgan 3407? Honest; have we forgotten the lessons we have learned from having fatigued pilots? I am a professional pilot. I am not trying to teach [the company] any lessons. I am not protesting. I am not [a union] volunteer adding database information. I am a dedicated captain attempting to do my job. My job is also to evaluate my own physiological reactions to backside of the clock operations. My own family that have ridden on all-nighters with me as I flown them home have commented on how tired they were 2 days later! And they have asked me how I can do this type of flying each week? I am no stranger to all-nighters. Two-leg all-nighters are an open invitation to another fatigued pilots accident. Is this what we want? Never; has [the company] had scheduled two leg all-nighters until recently. This is unsafe! And I am angry at the FAA for allowing the practice as well. Now; I have to pay from my own sick-leave bank to do what is right and safe! That is both unfair and very telling as to the seriousness of this situation. This is not just 'duty time' and scheduled flight time. This is extremely fatiguing work at this time of day.

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Original NASA ASRS Text

Title: B737 Captain reported unsafe to fly fatigued; and felt backlash for decision.

Narrative: First the Facts: Seeing earlier this week that this pairing had a two-leg all-nighter built into it; I went to bed at 10pm and woke at 7am this morning. I purposely refrained from caffeine this morning as I knew I would require a nap. I had breakfast; took the children to school went to yoga returned home had a light snack and went to bed at 1pm to 3pm for a nap to prepare for my duty period. Probably; because my nap needed to be so early in the afternoon; I had trouble falling asleep. I estimate I napped for 1 hour. My wife woke me at 3pm. I felt groggy. I showered; had another light meal and left my house for the 1hr drive [to the airport]. During my drive I consumed at large coffee. The Deadhead flight was uneventful and I closed my eyes during the 50 min flight. I did not sleep; just rested. Upon landing; I went into OPS to start my preflight planning when I saw our flight was delayed 3:00 hours. At this time; I recognized that we would be landing [later in the morning] in ZZZ. I thought very long and with great anxiety about the flight. I tried to find a way to get more rest and I tried to rationalize a way to fly the flight safely. I had guilt about both operating the flight and not operating the flight. If I flew the flight; I knew from my vast experience of [decades] of all-night flights; that for ME; I would not be capable of Command decisions [the next morning in ZZZ]. I barely make it through regular all-nighters where I nap from 4-7pm before the flight and we land [earlier in the morning]. I felt guilt for not flying the flight and the potential impact it could have on everyone! In flight; when I contemplate which course of action to take 3 times trying to rationalize; I then force the most conservative action that is safest. That is what I did here as well. After much back and forth agonizing over this flight; I knew it would be unsafe to operate this flight. I knew I had to call in fatigued. Now the Soapbox: I feel so sad and so angry! I am sad that I could not operate this flight. For many reasons! I feel so angry at [Company] Leadership; FAA Leadership and [Union] Leadership that this event was ever forced to come to this conclusion! Are we looking for another Colgan 3407? Honest; have we forgotten the lessons we have learned from having fatigued pilots? I am a professional pilot. I am not trying to teach [the company] any lessons. I am not protesting. I am not [a Union] volunteer adding database information. I am a dedicated Captain attempting to do my job. My job is also to evaluate my own physiological reactions to backside of the clock operations. My own family that have ridden on all-nighters with me as I flown them home have commented on how tired they were 2 days later! And they have asked me how I can do this type of flying each week? I am no stranger to all-nighters. Two-leg all-nighters are an open invitation to another fatigued pilots accident. Is this what we want? Never; has [the company] had scheduled two leg all-nighters until recently. This is unsafe! And I am angry at the FAA for allowing the practice as well. Now; I have to pay from my own sick-leave bank to do what is right and safe! That is both unfair and very telling as to the seriousness of this situation. This is not just 'Duty time' and Scheduled flight time. This is extremely fatiguing work at this time of day.

Data retrieved from NASA's ASRS site and automatically converted to unabbreviated mixed upper/lowercase text. This report is for informational purposes with no guarantee of accuracy. See NASA's ASRS site for official report.