Narrative:

It would be best if this report is read by someone who is old enough to have seen the 1964 movie; fate is the hunter; with glenn ford and suzanne pleshette. Anyway; I was flying from shanghai to ZZZ1. We were about an hour out of ZZZ1 and I had just got up from my break and had poured myself a cup of coffee. I normally take a min or to wake up before going to the cockpit. I believe the experts call that recovering from sleep inertia. Just then one of the coplts called back to request a flight attendant to come to the cockpit so he could take a potty break. Since I was there I figured I might as well go on up and get into my seat. Can you guess where this story is going? As I am getting into the just vacated left seat; holding my just poured and still very full coffee cup; kaboom; coffee all over the center pedestal. As we rapidly tried to clean up the mess the left and center audio panels; with their multitude of microphone and receive buttons; begin to look like twinkle light christmas trees. What we did not know at first was that we had gone hot microphone to ATC. All of the ruckus and commotion in the cockpit was being intermediately transmitted. Well; shades of 9-11; they almost launched the fighters on us. We quickly got a text-message off to dispatch through the satcom having them advise ATC of our situation. We cleaned up and sorted out the mess and figured out that by shutting down the left VHF (we pulled its circuit breaker) and only using the right VHF through the right (copilot's) audio panel and with overhead speakers on; so I could listen; we could get into ZZZ1 ok. Now; to the question of the moral of the story. Many of the reports you publish end with a MEA culpa about how they will never make that mistake again. But we are human; so they may not make the mistake again but someone else will. So; how much of the lesson is about how to handle the problem once it begins. Back to pilot 101 day one: analyze the situation; take the proper action; and land as soon as conditions permit. I am sure the 'coffee' story will get spread around a little; and people will be more careful with their drinks; for a while. I hope how we handled the problem will be part of the story too. I think we handled it quickly and smoothly. Finally; if you have not seen the movie; fate is the hunter; I think you would enjoy it. It is completely different than the book of the same name; but it does relate to your work and most certainly to this story.

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Original NASA ASRS Text

Title: A B777 CAPT SPILLED A CUP OF COFFEE ON THE CTR PEDESTAL CAUSING SEVERE COMS DIFFICULTIES.

Narrative: IT WOULD BE BEST IF THIS RPT IS READ BY SOMEONE WHO IS OLD ENOUGH TO HAVE SEEN THE 1964 MOVIE; FATE IS THE HUNTER; WITH GLENN FORD AND SUZANNE PLESHETTE. ANYWAY; I WAS FLYING FROM SHANGHAI TO ZZZ1. WE WERE ABOUT AN HR OUT OF ZZZ1 AND I HAD JUST GOT UP FROM MY BREAK AND HAD POURED MYSELF A CUP OF COFFEE. I NORMALLY TAKE A MIN OR TO WAKE UP BEFORE GOING TO THE COCKPIT. I BELIEVE THE EXPERTS CALL THAT RECOVERING FROM SLEEP INERTIA. JUST THEN ONE OF THE COPLTS CALLED BACK TO REQUEST A FLT ATTENDANT TO COME TO THE COCKPIT SO HE COULD TAKE A POTTY BREAK. SINCE I WAS THERE I FIGURED I MIGHT AS WELL GO ON UP AND GET INTO MY SEAT. CAN YOU GUESS WHERE THIS STORY IS GOING? AS I AM GETTING INTO THE JUST VACATED L SEAT; HOLDING MY JUST POURED AND STILL VERY FULL COFFEE CUP; KABOOM; COFFEE ALL OVER THE CTR PEDESTAL. AS WE RAPIDLY TRIED TO CLEAN UP THE MESS THE L AND CTR AUDIO PANELS; WITH THEIR MULTITUDE OF MIKE AND RECEIVE BUTTONS; BEGIN TO LOOK LIKE TWINKLE LIGHT CHRISTMAS TREES. WHAT WE DID NOT KNOW AT FIRST WAS THAT WE HAD GONE HOT MIKE TO ATC. ALL OF THE RUCKUS AND COMMOTION IN THE COCKPIT WAS BEING INTERMEDIATELY XMITTED. WELL; SHADES OF 9-11; THEY ALMOST LAUNCHED THE FIGHTERS ON US. WE QUICKLY GOT A TEXT-MESSAGE OFF TO DISPATCH THROUGH THE SATCOM HAVING THEM ADVISE ATC OF OUR SITUATION. WE CLEANED UP AND SORTED OUT THE MESS AND FIGURED OUT THAT BY SHUTTING DOWN THE L VHF (WE PULLED ITS CIRCUIT BREAKER) AND ONLY USING THE R VHF THROUGH THE R (COPLT'S) AUDIO PANEL AND WITH OVERHEAD SPEAKERS ON; SO I COULD LISTEN; WE COULD GET INTO ZZZ1 OK. NOW; TO THE QUESTION OF THE MORAL OF THE STORY. MANY OF THE RPTS YOU PUBLISH END WITH A MEA CULPA ABOUT HOW THEY WILL NEVER MAKE THAT MISTAKE AGAIN. BUT WE ARE HUMAN; SO THEY MAY NOT MAKE THE MISTAKE AGAIN BUT SOMEONE ELSE WILL. SO; HOW MUCH OF THE LESSON IS ABOUT HOW TO HANDLE THE PROB ONCE IT BEGINS. BACK TO PLT 101 DAY ONE: ANALYZE THE SITUATION; TAKE THE PROPER ACTION; AND LAND AS SOON AS CONDITIONS PERMIT. I AM SURE THE 'COFFEE' STORY WILL GET SPREAD AROUND A LITTLE; AND PEOPLE WILL BE MORE CAREFUL WITH THEIR DRINKS; FOR A WHILE. I HOPE HOW WE HANDLED THE PROB WILL BE PART OF THE STORY TOO. I THINK WE HANDLED IT QUICKLY AND SMOOTHLY. FINALLY; IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN THE MOVIE; FATE IS THE HUNTER; I THINK YOU WOULD ENJOY IT. IT IS COMPLETELY DIFFERENT THAN THE BOOK OF THE SAME NAME; BUT IT DOES RELATE TO YOUR WORK AND MOST CERTAINLY TO THIS STORY.

Data retrieved from NASA's ASRS site as of January 2009 and automatically converted to unabbreviated mixed upper/lowercase text. This report is for informational purposes with no guarantee of accuracy. See NASA's ASRS site for official report.