Narrative:

We were initially assigned spot X upon pushback from gate a, and then were told to move up to spot Y. Because I have flown infrequently into our new complex in lga, I was somewhat unfamiliar with the flow in the middle of the concourse (I have parked on the other side the last few times I have been to this airport.) as we moved forward to what we thought was spot Y, we proceeded carefully and we both had our airport ramp diagrams out and we discussed the matter between us as to where we thought spot Y was located. Upon reaching the helicopter pad, it became evident that we were beyond the point that spot Y should have been located, which we concluded by locating the helicopter pad on the ramp chart. We made about 10 calls to ground control during this period of time attempting to get clearance to taxi, but none were acknowledged. After sitting on the inner taxiway for about 2 mins trying to contact ground control, ground finally called us and berated us for blocking the inner taxiway without clearance. The numbered spots depicted on the ramp chart are not actually painted on the ramps. This ramp chart bears very little resemblance to reality, and is extremely difficult to interpret. I have been a captain for 8 yrs and have never had any trouble 'getting around' on the ground. I have always been extremely careful in this regard and always have my airport layout charts out and clipped to the yoke or window clip for handy reference. I respectfully submit that if I and my first officer, collaborating with our charts out in daytime with good visibility, could not together find spot Y, then there is a problem with FAA expectations in this regard. Spot numbers need to be painted on the ramp and the chart needs to be revised. By the way, this first officer is one of the sharpest I have ever flown with and formerly worked with a long island commuter for 5 yrs, and therefore was intimately familiar with lga. This chart is the most confusing of its type that I have ever seen.

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Original NASA ASRS Text

Title: AN ACR MLG CREW BLOCKED THE INNER TXWY AT LGA ON PUSHBACK.

Narrative: WE WERE INITIALLY ASSIGNED SPOT X UPON PUSHBACK FROM GATE A, AND THEN WERE TOLD TO MOVE UP TO SPOT Y. BECAUSE I HAVE FLOWN INFREQUENTLY INTO OUR NEW COMPLEX IN LGA, I WAS SOMEWHAT UNFAMILIAR WITH THE FLOW IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CONCOURSE (I HAVE PARKED ON THE OTHER SIDE THE LAST FEW TIMES I HAVE BEEN TO THIS ARPT.) AS WE MOVED FORWARD TO WHAT WE THOUGHT WAS SPOT Y, WE PROCEEDED CAREFULLY AND WE BOTH HAD OUR ARPT RAMP DIAGRAMS OUT AND WE DISCUSSED THE MATTER BTWN US AS TO WHERE WE THOUGHT SPOT Y WAS LOCATED. UPON REACHING THE HELI PAD, IT BECAME EVIDENT THAT WE WERE BEYOND THE POINT THAT SPOT Y SHOULD HAVE BEEN LOCATED, WHICH WE CONCLUDED BY LOCATING THE HELI PAD ON THE RAMP CHART. WE MADE ABOUT 10 CALLS TO GND CTL DURING THIS PERIOD OF TIME ATTEMPTING TO GET CLRNC TO TAXI, BUT NONE WERE ACKNOWLEDGED. AFTER SITTING ON THE INNER TXWY FOR ABOUT 2 MINS TRYING TO CONTACT GND CTL, GND FINALLY CALLED US AND BERATED US FOR BLOCKING THE INNER TXWY WITHOUT CLRNC. THE NUMBERED SPOTS DEPICTED ON THE RAMP CHART ARE NOT ACTUALLY PAINTED ON THE RAMPS. THIS RAMP CHART BEARS VERY LITTLE RESEMBLANCE TO REALITY, AND IS EXTREMELY DIFFICULT TO INTERPRET. I HAVE BEEN A CAPT FOR 8 YRS AND HAVE NEVER HAD ANY TROUBLE 'GETTING AROUND' ON THE GND. I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN EXTREMELY CAREFUL IN THIS REGARD AND ALWAYS HAVE MY ARPT LAYOUT CHARTS OUT AND CLIPPED TO THE YOKE OR WINDOW CLIP FOR HANDY REF. I RESPECTFULLY SUBMIT THAT IF I AND MY FO, COLLABORATING WITH OUR CHARTS OUT IN DAYTIME WITH GOOD VISIBILITY, COULD NOT TOGETHER FIND SPOT Y, THEN THERE IS A PROB WITH FAA EXPECTATIONS IN THIS REGARD. SPOT NUMBERS NEED TO BE PAINTED ON THE RAMP AND THE CHART NEEDS TO BE REVISED. BY THE WAY, THIS FO IS ONE OF THE SHARPEST I HAVE EVER FLOWN WITH AND FORMERLY WORKED WITH A LONG ISLAND COMMUTER FOR 5 YRS, AND THEREFORE WAS INTIMATELY FAMILIAR WITH LGA. THIS CHART IS THE MOST CONFUSING OF ITS TYPE THAT I HAVE EVER SEEN.

Data retrieved from NASA's ASRS site as of July 2007 and automatically converted to unabbreviated mixed upper/lowercase text. This report is for informational purposes with no guarantee of accuracy. See NASA's ASRS site for official report.